"Mr. President-elect, this is John Jodhpurs from the Office of Protocol."

"Yes, John. How can I help you?."

"Well, sir, there are a number of Presidential privileges that I wanted to discuss with you, and I also wanted to find out a few of your personal preferences so that we may serve you better."

"Go ahead, John. …no, a little more off the top, Jeffrey. Sorry, John. You were saying?"

"Yes. Now, as you know, one of our responsibilities is the entertainment of the First Family. We know a President needs a holiday from exhausting schedules and demanding constituents, and so we try to make his leisure hours as relaxing and renewing as…"

"Yes, John, I know all that. Could you step it up? I have an interview with Dan Rather in 10 minutes, and then a photo-op with Smokey Robinson."

"Sorry, sir. Well, then, let’s get on to your preferences. Now, as far as sexual partners are concerned, do you prefer blondes, brunettes, or redheads?"

"I like a variety. As long as they’re young and beautiful."

"And do you prefer men or women?"

"Same answer."

"And the First Lady?"

"Oh, she pretty much goes along with my tastes, but you should ask her what she prefers."

"Great. Now, I’d like to explain a few of the amenities the White House offers. I’ll keep it quick, sir. We’re currently instituting a pool of consorts for you to choose from which will be constantly recruited from around the nation. As a matter of fact, I think that Mr. Flynt will prove to be one of our best recruiters (as long as there’s not an Elephant in office, of course). [chuckles] Oh, and the Chinese government says they’re sending you a couple of girls to ‘improve relations’ and maintain Most Favored Nation status."

"Yeah, they told me about it. When I’m sworn in, I’d like to schedule an appointment with them at their earliest convenience."

"The girls or the Chinese government?"

"Both. But you only need to be concerned about the girls."

"Yes, sir. Now, also as a service to the President, we help cover up any sexual activity which might cause untoward political damage. As to that, I wanted to know: do you prefer the honest approach or attacking the messenger and misdirecting attention?"

"Hmmm…honesty is too invasive. Let’s go with attacking the messenger and misdirecting attention."

"And do you prefer to lie to your subordinates as well?"

"Of course, John. Too much chance of something getting out."

"How about to a grand jury?"

"Are you kidding? I’ve got lawyers and talking heads who can twist damned near anything I say into damned near anything I want people to think I said."

"OK, I guess that’s a ‘Yes’. And the public?"

"How long have you worked in Washington, John?"

"About ten years, sir."

"It’s a politician’s job to lie to the public. You should know that by now… Look, John, I have to go. Perhaps we could discuss this a little more in-depth when I get to Washington."

"Absolutely, sir. It will be an honor to serve you."

"Yes, yes. Thank you, John. Good night."

- The Watcher (A glimpse of a possible future, or the recent past?)