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Mattell Promotes Homosexual Lifestyle?

Recent scientific studies (Scientific Mongoloid volume 17 issue 12 June 1999) where thousands of Barbie and Ken dolls were interviewed (over a 5 year period) revealed a few very common complaints.

Since Ken dolls have no sexual organs, they cannot provide any more sexual satisfaction to the Barbie dolls than another Barbie doll.

As a consequence, an astounding number of same sex unions have been occurring in the toy world.

Since the average doll has no job that earns money, a Barbie doll has no more reason to hang out with a Ken doll than another Barbie doll. In fact less, as at least the Barbie doll is much more anatomically correct than a Ken doll.

Like many other amputees, the Ken dolls tend to hang out with other dolls that can understand their situation.

What is left for the macho Ken doll? Not much. Drinking, drugs, violence against the Barbie dolls, ...

The less than macho Ken doll, has been turning to same sex relationships. Who else could better understand their situation, and sympathize with it.

And that's the truth.

-- The Cynical Optimist

Opinions expressed here are those of the individuals themselves; and may not necessarily reflect those of BONGO'S FALLOUT SHELTER.

Nuclear Reactions?
Updated ( 9-6-99 )
(c)1999 The Cynical Optimist.